Le Walter Surprise
by TheBigBadWolf1
Summary: It's a quiet night in the Ski Lodge. Sarita is asleep. Matthew is out sightseeing. That means that Kenny and Walter are all alone. Walter has never been this nervous in his life. His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. Tonight, he's going to confess his love toward the Floridian man. Over some beans n' peaches. It's wrong, yes, it's cheating, but it's love.


_**AUTHOR NOTE: Old, silly thing I wrote and that I decided to re-edit and reupload because I need to procrastinate from my bigger projects.**_ _ **I had this up along with a series of other silly drabbles, but I took it down. However I liked this drabble too much not to save it and not upload it as its own oneshot.**_ _ **Might as well have some shits and gigs, and perhaps you'll have some too.**_ _ **Yeah. Don't judge. And don't take this shit seriously, most of all.**_

* * *

 _ _Tick. Tack. Tick. Tack.__

The clock hanging from the wall of the Moonstar Lodge echoed within its vast interior, singing with a distinct click at every passing second. Night had veiled the sierras and forests surrounding the lodge, sinking them in penumbra. But the moon was glowing bright, its pale light shedding through the tall windows and lighting it up well enough to see in the dark. Sarita was profoundly asleep in one of the vacant bedrooms upstairs. Matthew was taking a sightseeing excursion, so he was sleeping in the station near the bridge.

However, not everyone was deep in their slumber just yet.

Each tick-tack from the clock sounded like a hammer crashing against Walter's ears. The thick silence made his body feel uncomfortable, as if gravity was pulling him down harder. He was leaning against the kitchen island, his foot tapping the floor at an erratic pace, numbing his leg. His eyes were riveted to the boiling pot sitting on a portable stove atop the counter. He felt like his head was going to explode at any time, and that the gay pink apron noosed around his neck was going to suffocate him. He needed relief. He tried to focus on the bubbling coming from the pot, but he didn't feel better. So he looked towards the balcony.

A magnificent sight greeted him through the glass sliding doors. His heart skipped a beat, but it was pumped with bliss at the same time. Kenny was sitting on the balcony, his back turned to the English professor. The man's gaze was posited on the rows of mountains stretching towards the horizon. _What are you thinking about?_ How Walter wished that he could access that wonderful man's thoughts, know every nook and cranny of his intellect and the beauties hidden within it. Kenny had his back curved, sloppily leaning against the spine of the lawnchair. Walter smiled. _Oh, Kenny, you're so graceful._ But Walter quickly lost his smile. Because Kenny was a source of comfort for him, but tonight, he was a source of anxiety.

Tonight was the night, he told himself. He and Kenny were alone. And he had to seize the opportunity.

Walter pinched his nose bridge, a wave of cold sweat sweeping his body. He tried to find a solid argument to postpone his plan, but found none. He found only the voice that was screaming in his head. _You have to do it! You're going to do it tonight! No chickening out!_ Walter exhausted a breath, relieving some of the weight on his chest. He wouldn't get another chance. And he only had one shot. He couldn't miss his chance to blow.

He propped himself off the counter and approached the pot of food. He stirred the contents with a wooden spoon as if he was making a Bargain Disease On Self potion. That meal was fucking awful, but Kenny loved it. It was his special meal. Beans n' peaches. Well, it was the only thing in stock at the lodge. Smoke spiraled from the pot, where the brown mixture was boiling. The steam coming from the pot heated up his face.

He neared his face to the pot and inhaled. His nose crinkled and he staggered back, coughs gargling in his throat. It was like a pig had defecated inside. Walter smiled. _That means the recipe is on point._ After all, when it comes to beans n' peaches, the taste is what matters.

Walter switched off the stove, deeming that the meal was concluded. He opened a cupboard with delicate motions, each movement silent. He couldn't wake up Sarita. He slowly took out two bowls and got a pair of spoons from a drawer. He filled the bowls with the food, the contents splooshing each time he dumped a spoonful inside.

Walter took a deep sigh. He grabbed the two hot bowls and strolled towards the balcony, stalling with slow footsteps. With his foot, he pulled the sliding door aside and circled around Kenny, facing him. He petrified on the spot, his eyes bulging. His grip on the bowls almost loosened. He had never seen Kenny in the moonlight.

His gaze was determined and narrowed, fixated on the dreamy landscape unraveling beyond the hills. The moonlight sparked silver off of the brush of his beard, the grey straws of his Santa-like facial hair vigorously flapping in the breeze. The ebony locks of his mullet dangled gracefully behind his neck, the top of the marvelous haircut hidden by his worn out cap. Walter flicked his eyes through the wrinkles that scarred his rugged visage, admiring each one of his perfect imperfection. Kenny sprang his gaze towards him.

"Walt, why you standing there?"

Walter blinked, shaking his head as he snapped back to reality. He cleared his throat.

"Oh, uh, I, uh...I cooked us a late night snack." Walter said, slapping himself in his mind for having such a shaky voice.

Walter set down the bowls on a table, before sitting on a lawnchair next to Kenny. The latter narrowed his eyes and curved his brow, glancing at the meals.

"Since when do we eat late night snacks?" He bellowed.

Walter sketched a frail smile. He spoke loudly like a barbarian all the time, but that just made him cute in the professor's eyes.

"Y'know, I just thought…" Walter paused, thinking of how he would end his sentence. "…it'd make the night more special."

Kenny shrugged, his face neutralizing. He looked back towards the meals, and his eyes lit up when he noticed that it was peaches n' beans. He rubbed his hands together with a sly grin, water bubbling on his lips.

"Peaches n' beans…my favorite…" Kenny mumbled. He grabbed his spoon and began shoving the poop-colored mixture into his mouth cavity, barely taking the time to chew and swallowing with disgusting, guttural snarls.

"Uh...actually, I think we should call it something else." Walter said, as he scratched his chin. "What about…Le Walter Surprise?"

Kenny's spoon hung below his chin, as he raised his glare at Walter. "Walt, I like you and all, but _**AMERICAN**_ please…not whatever that Chinese shit is."

Kenny resumed to digging into his plate, while Walter didn't dare to touch his food, which began to turn cold. Walter scratched his head.

"It's French."

Kenny shrugged, barely reacting to being corrected. Walter bit his lip down. _Dammit, why did I speak French?!_ Kenny was the biggest patriot in the United States of motherfucking America, hailing from the mighty Floridian lands, and any trace of non-American pissed him off. Walter felt a lump in his throat – he was already screwing things up. He shook his head, knowing that he couldn't dwell on his mistakes and he had to think up of something else to say. He looked towards the horizon.

"Y'know, tonight's a really beautiful night."

"Yeah." Kenny agreed with a smile. "Thanks for the food, Walt."

"You're welcome." Walter said. He bit his lips, trying to avoid grinning out loud like a little schoolgirl due to Kenny thanking him."Perhaps I should've gone to culinary school instead of teacher school…I guess I just loved grammatical thingies too much…"

"I could never see myself as a teacher." Kenny said. "Too boring. Annoying kids. But as a fisherman…you're out there, in the sea…that smell of salt…makes you feel alive. Connected to the planet or somethin'." Kenny paused to swallow another spoonful. He let out a chuckle. "Le Walter Surprise. Good for nutrition. Not so good on the way out."

Kenny burst in laughter, his low-pitched giggles echoing throughout the valleys. Walter shifted in his seating, letting out a forced and sheepish chuckle. Kenny had never spoken another language in his life besides American English, but he had gone through the effort of pronouncing two French words? That had to mean Walter was doing something right. Walter let out a long breath. _You can do this._

"Mmm…" Kenny hummed, his lips lining with pleasure as he closed his eyes. "What'd you put in this thing? Tastes fuckin' awesome."

Walter let out a throbbing chuckle. _It's pepper._ "W-well, that's my special ingredient. Can't tell you the secret."

Kenny groaned with a smile, rolling his eyes. "C'mon, tell me!"

"Sorry. A magician doesn't reveal his tricks." Walter insisted with an intensified smirk.

"Aw, c'mon!"

Kenny stared at Walter with a smirk, and the professor maintained the stare. His smile diminished as he noticed that Kenny wasn't taking his eyes off of him. Now was the moment. But Walter remained glued to his chair, his body varying in temperature, sometimes boiling with anxiety, sometimes freezing with fear. Kenny's eyes dropped back to his bowl, his smirk still taped to his face.

"You're so uptight, Walt."

"I'm uptight?!" Walter said with a jokeful intonation.

"You need to loosen up a bit."

Walter gulped down, forcing a shaky smile. _Do or die._ He placed his hand over Kenny's hairy fingers, making the fisherman's bulging gaze dart towards Walt's. With a swift motion, Walter got on his feet and bent over the table, his lips connecting with Kenny's. The dopamine kicked in, abstracting Walter from the real world. Kenny's lips were leathery and had the taste of someone who kisses themselves in the mirror too much. Walter then opened his eyes, realizing what he had done. He expected Kenny to be backing away from him, repulsed, before QTE'ing his ass down the cliff. But Kenny had his eyes closed, and his tongue was exploring Walter's mouth. Their hands began caressing each other's bodies. Walter massaged his bushy beard and Kenny ran his fingertips down Walter's bare scalp. That magical moment made their heartbeats sychronize.

They didn't want that moment to end. They wanted their kiss to be endless. It was wrong, sure. Kenny was violating the bond that he had with Sarita, and Walter was throwing everything he had with Matthew out the window. But there was no longer any love in those relationships. There was only the flame shared by the fisherman and the professor.

Walter detached his lips from Kenny's, sketching a smirk. "Am I uptight now?"

The next day, Walter and Kenny pretended nothing ever happened, keeping the truth hidden from Sarita and Matthew. However, Kenny got diarrhea from the nutrition overdose, and spent hours in the latrine. Like he used to say, " _Good for nutrition, not too good on the way out_ ", bringing a smile to Walter's lips.

Moral of the story kids, don't exaggerate on the Le Walter Surprise.


End file.
